This past year featured quite a lot of change for me. I traveled to Aruba, Chicago and Las Vegas; had a job change; found a man; and changed homes. I made nutrition a priority and got into the best shape I’ve been in so far, made new friends and started new hobbies. I also learned a lot, so I wanted to share some of my lessons.
Just because it’s not butterflies right away, doesn’t mean you should write it off. I often hear my single friends say they don’t want to continue talking to a boy they went out with one time because they just weren’t feelin’ it right away. I totally get it – your intuition is a powerful thing and if you know in your gut this is not the one, than move on to the next one. But if you are unsure and just hoping to feel the butterflies right away, I’m here to tell you that they don’t always appear in the beginning. Sometimes relationships take a little to bit longer than others. Remember, not every plant takes the same amount of time to grow. Don’t write it off until you know for sure how you feel, and not what you expect to feel. This goes for more than just relationships.
You will never know who someone is judging from their social media. That person who has tons of followers could have paid for them. That person who flaunts all their new purchases and trips may be dealing wish family issues you hope to never have. That person who has the prettiest photos probably hired a photographer or sat on their couch for two hours trying to edit the photo. There is nothing wrong with any of this, but the message is that most of the time it is all posed, or more than what meets the eye. Just like photos in a magazine, you need to stop judging and comparing yourself. No one likes to show the behind the scenes and unflattering images.
What you may think is a ‘sign’ might actually be just what it is. I’m the first to admit I definitely believe that everything happens for a reason. However, I am also the first to admit that I tend to over think this concept sometimes. Just because an opportunity is placed in your hands, it does not mean you are meant to take it. Sometimes the Universe is trying to simply give you a choice. Remember you have a little present called Free Will, use it wisely.
Not everyday can be a 10/10. Some days are incredibley average. In fact, most days I sit in a chair and work, or drink wine on the couch with my boyfriend. It’s okay, I still enjoy it. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that.
It’s OK that you don’t have a million friends. Sometimes, the people who have a lot of friends often aren’t really all that close to them and end up being ditched or left behind. If you’re an adult and worried that you don’t look popular enough, you’ve got some bigger issues to tackle. Surround yourself with friends who encourage you, support you, and don’t bother you. If you do have that and still have a lot of friends, that’s awesome! But if that only leaves you with a select few, that is fine too. Remember, it’s quality over quantity.
Your insecurities are a projection of what you think of yourself. How often have you bitched about another woman (or man) whose physical appearance was somehow displeasing to you? You might have felt an immense sense of distaste and dislike for this person, when in fact this is a protection mechanism veiling your own deeper body-image issues. Likely, you are deeply insecure about your own body, and thus unconsciously project this loathing onto others. My own example – I used to fear that other women wouldn’t think I fit in because I wasn’t super girly. I thought they would judge my style and physical appearance, when in fact I was judging my own. When we are insecure or have low self-esteem, it is common to perceive the problem as being with other people and not ourselves.
Positive thoughts do not necessarily attract positive things. Instead, positive thoughts will help you see the positive aspects of your life that are already there, which will ultimately lead to seeing more positivity. Gratitude is a powerful thing and if you think you have nothing to be grateful for, try this exercise:
Look around you right now and try to find everything you can that is red. Maybe its on someones clothing, on the walls, etc. See all the red? Good. Now how much did you see that was brown? Probably none. Why? Because you were so focused on the red, you didn’t see the brown. But now take a look and see how much brown is around. I bet you find a lot more.. See where I’m going here?
You can’t escape the lesson of patience. Some things are just out of your control and you need to understand and be okay with that. If you go around rushing things you’re probably putting yourself in a risk for things to go wrong. You wouldn’t want your contract workers to rush their job on your new home would you? No, you want them to take their time and make sure they are delivering you the best job/outcome.
And lastly – There are endless ways to a destination. Don’t be afraid of taking a wrong way.